The Buffalo Bills: 1 Equation Captures All the Pain

You know the NFL—the world’s most lucrative sports league, based in the city with Earth’s second-largest GDP, and a point of obsession for the globe’s number one economy. Yet somehow, some way, the 49th-largest metro area in that pigskin-dominated country still has a team in the 32-member league. Yes, the reference is to the Buffalo Bills, as in the ones who’ve been torturing the poor souls on the eastern tip of Lake Erie for decades. It’s all in the math, encapsulated by one simple equation.

 

[(1960 + 1964 + 1965 − 1967 + 1973 + 1991 − 1992 − 1993 − 1994 − 2000) ÷ (17 + 13)] + 3 + 0.1 = 0

 

And what exactly does this mean? It’ll all make sense below.

 

1960

The Buffalo Bills’ first season, played as a member of the American Football League (AFL) that later merged with the National Football League (NFL) to form the NFL as we know it today.

 

1964

The year the Bills won the AFL championship, defeating the San Diego Chargers at War Memorial Stadium in Buffalo.

 

1965

The year the Bills successfully defended their AFL championship, again beating the Chargers, this time in San Diego. The MVP of the game was quarterback Jack Kemp, who would later go on to be Bob Dole’s running mate in the 1996 presidential election, losing to Bill Clinton and Al Gore.

 

1967

The year the Bills lost to the Kansas City Chiefs in the AFL Championship Game, thereby missing out on the opportunity to play in what would later be called Super Bowl I.

 

1973

The year the Bills moved to their suburban digs in Orchard Park, New York (most recently called Highmark Stadium). This was also the year that the Bills’ O.J. Simpson—yes, that O.J. Simpson—became the first NFL player to rush for over 2,000 yards in a single season.

 

1991

The year the Bills made their first Super Bowl. Oh, and also the year the Bills lost the Super Bowl 20-19 to the New York Giants after a last-second 47-yard field goal attempt sailed wide right. Click here if you really need a reminder.

 

1992

The year the Bills lost the Super Bowl 37-24 to the Washington Redskins (now Commanders).

 

1993

The year the Bills lost the Super Bowl 52-17 to the Dallas Cowboys.

 

1994

The year the Bills lost the Super Bowl 30-13 to the Dallas Cowboys. (Mmm hmm, that was the fourth time in a row.)

 

2000

The year the Bills were potentially robbed in a wild-card playoff game against the Tennessee Titans when what might have been an illegal forward pass on a last-second kickoff return was allowed to stand, handing the Titans a 22-16 victory. Here is a look, if you must.

 

17

The number of years in a row the Bills missed the playoffs after the heartbreaker above.

 

13

The number of seconds the Kansas City Chiefs had to send a 2022 divisional round playoff game to overtime after falling behind the Bills 36-33. Needless to say, the Chiefs were successful, later winning one of the greatest games in NFL history and reducing Bills fans to tears—again.

 

3

The number of points the Bills would have received had that 1991 field goal attempt gone between the uprights.

 

0.1

The number of people that would be required to move to Buffalo to make locals think the economy has turned the corner.

 

0

The number of Super Bowls the Bills have won.

 

When’s the next game?