I’m no parenting guru. In fact, about a decade from now, I’ll find out how I f****d it up royally.
But I have learned a few things.
When you have a kid who shoots hoops like this, it might be time to look for other talents.
And if you stumble upon this, buy a piano.
Then, rather than harp upon the fact that you ain’t watching varsity sports, embrace the fact that they serve beer at those School of Rock concerts.
We’ll call it Parenting 101.
Yet in the case of the Rust Belt, the parents have been emotionally abusive.
Let’s take a look at Ohio.
From the mid-1900s to 2020, the city of Cleveland lost 542,184 residents.
Over the same time span, Cincinnati went down by 194,681.
Dayton shed 124,688; Toledo bled 112,947; and Akron said bye to 99,882.
Envision that kid playing basketball.
Now envision talking about that shot, over and over.
Call The New York Times and have them write an article on it—followed by another.
Go ahead and make a documentary—followed by another.
Finally, call the kid stupid—again.
To repeat, I’m no expert, but there could be a plan B.
Let’s go back to Ohio.
From 1950 to today, the state’s population has increased from 7.9 million to 11.9 million.
That makes it the nation’s seventh most-populated state (with the seventh-largest state GDP).
The capital, Columbus, has added 562,495 residents over the past 75 years, its metro area growing by 1.7 million.
Picture that piano.
Add some drums and a bass guitar.
Find a School of Rock—ask your wife to drive to the shows.
Have the kid start an Instagram account and dabble in TikTok.
Finally, send him to Tennessee.
Meanwhile, start a blog about this sh*t.
Write a few indie books.
You might still suck at parenting, but at least no one will notice.
