A lot of hurtful things have been said about Americans—blubbery and dopey are a couple words that come to mind. But as a native Milwaukeean, I feel obligated to point out the perks of living in this great country, aka the best things about being American.
10
There’s always someone fatter than you.
9
You can whine about how Netflix banned password sharing, and people actually feel bad for you.
8
No one expects you to know sh*t about other countries.
7
You secretly know the crap about being equal was BS.
6
You get to shatter the English language, one sentence at a time.
5
The American work ethic goes great with antidepressants.
4
Trying to figure out what’s in a hot dog never gets old.
3
You can stop pretending you care about the damn environment.
2
Walmart and Chick-f*ckin’-fil-A!
1
Two words: greenbacks and guns.
4 Responses
like no. 8
we are getting there but not there yet, cause of what is called immigration
Thanks. Yes, immigration is perhaps our only window into other countries…lol.
Love No.4. Funny and so true!
Haha. Let me know if you figure it out!