I was thinking about doing a human experiment.
It was going to start with a huge chunk of land.
There was going to be an ocean—with some beaches and islands.
But it wasn’t going to be that nice.
The land was going to be carved up by turbid rivers and inhospitable swamps.
To make things interesting, I planned to throw in some mountains.
It was going to be hot.
And humid.
The conditions would have been perfect for whacked-out flora—and growing all sorts of stuff.
Animals would run wild, or “swim wild” for the ones in the water.
And the bugs—man, would there be bugs.
Then, with all that in place, I was going to start the human experiment.
Some of the people would live in tribes.
Some would hail from an old monarchy.
To spice things up, I planned to include the Scottish, Irish, French, Spanish, and anyone else from around there.
With the goal of adding more languages and religions, I was going to open it up to Africans and a few Asians.
After that, I was just going to see what happened.
My colleagues warned me it would be a recipe for chaos.
People would kill each other, they said.
Some groups would be oppressed and others eradicated.
Languages would be lost.
And one group—the dominant one—would impose its religion.
When it was all said and done, some would be really rich and others dirt poor.
But I still wanted to do the experiment.
Because I wondered if the same formula that would foment chaos could also incubate beauty.
Just think about the food. It would come from all the flora and fauna, including the stuff from the sea. And the flavors—they would be brand new.
My guess was the drinks would be fantastic, especially those of the adult variety.
The cities would be offbeat and full of contradictions.
The people, if they agreed not to kill each other, would have fun with language.
And then, if thoughts were truly allowed to marinate, would come the art.
I envisioned groundbreaking literature, works that would remind everyone that great stupidity can birth profound insight.
Even the textiles and photographs would make us think.
But greater than all that would be the music. It would actually change the world.
Alas, my plans were derailed when I found out this human experiment has already begun.
If I’m not mistaken, it goes by a simple name: the American South.
