10 Hints It’s an Election Year

By election year, I’m talking about the American presidential election.

And it’s the worst.

Right wingers talk even louder than usual, proud to show everyone just how dumb they are.

Left wingers whisper in coffee shops, more embarrassed regarding their intellectual shortcomings.

The rest of us—stuck somewhere in the middle—are left to wonder why humans are so annoying.

Anyway, here are a few clues it’s about that time again.

 

10

People seem to think you actually care about their identity.

 

9

Your IQ starts slipping toward the American average.

 

8

According to CNN, you’re a cisgender, college-educated, non-Hispanic, Asian, male person of color—and you thought you were just a ball of cells.

 

7

That blonde lady on Fox News keeps yelling about crap that has no bearing on anyone’s life.

 

6

Old dudes keep asking you where you’re from. (Milwaukee, b*tch.)

 

5

You remember why you don’t live in West Virginia.

 

4

You fantasize about moving to Canada—until you remember it’s Canada.

 

3

They accidentally keep saying candidate instead of criminal.

 

2

They accidentally call some guy who keeps falling president.

 

1

That Proud to Be an American song really starts to piss you off.

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2 Responses

  1. when I was in college, a political science teacher commented ” some times in a democracy you have to choose the better ass{donkey}
    some one said( may be Churchill) ” democracy is the worst form of govt, but it is the best available”

    1. Both great lines! (The second one is Churchill: Democracy is the worst form of government, except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.)

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