Why I Can’t Stand (and Love) Washington, DC

Washington, DC.

 

1

Are you a bastion of democracy?

Do you deny your citizens representation in US Congress?

 

2

Are you known for Freedom Plaza?

Are you surrounded by two former slave states?

 

3

Did your population increase by 15% from 2010 to 2020?

Was your 2023 homicide rate one of the highest in the country?

 

4

Does one of your most famous memorials mention that all men are created equal?

Are you one of the most segregated cities in the US?

 

5

Does your metropolitan area have one of the highest college graduation rates in the country?

Does 0% of the population have a college degree in some of your eastern neighborhoods?

 

6

Are you home to two organizations that attempt to reduce poverty around the world?

Do 15% of your residents live in poverty?

 

7

Was the Smithsonian Institution created for the increase and diffusion of knowledge?

Did a 2007 study find that one third of your residents were functionally illiterate?

 

8

Is the median home price in Georgetown $1.5 million?

Are there tents for the homeless nearby?

 

9

Did you once foster vibrant jazz and punk rock scenes?

Have you priced out creativity in favor of conformity?

 

10

Are you home to many important people?

Are you home to many people who think they’re more important than they are?

 

Answer key: Yes.

 

Notes:

1. Despite being more populated than two US states (Vermont and Wyoming), Washington, DC, is not a state, meaning it has one non-voting member in the House of Representatives and zero in the Senate.
2. Both Maryland and Virginia were slave states. Virginia seceded from the Union in the Civil War, and its current capital Richmond was the capital of the Confederacy. Maryland did not secede, though a Marylander—John Wilkes Booth—did assassinate President Abraham Lincoln for effectively ending slavery.
3. It’s only fitting that a nation known for gun violence have a violent capital.
4. The Jefferson Memorial—in honor of Thomas Jefferson, the author of the Declaration of Independence—has an excerpt of the document.
5. Over half the DC metropolitan area has at least a bachelor’s degree, compared to closer to one third nationally. Some neighborhoods, however, fall short of both figures.
6. The World Bank and International Monetary Fund are both based in DC.
7. Functional illiteracy refers to reading and writing skills that are inadequate to manage daily life and/or attain many forms of employment.
8. Georgetown is one of the capital’s most expensive neighborhoods, behind only Spring Valley.
9. Back in the day, the likes of Duke Ellington and Dave Grohl got their feet wet in DC.
10. This is a fact-based opinion.