It’s amazing what you can find coming out of the Belmont University underground. I’ve known it all along—or at least I should have.
It was on October 16, 2026, in the day’s earliest seconds, known commonly as midnight, that I found inspiration courtesy the Christ-centered school in Middle Tennessee.
Some kid from the underground, one with a strange last name, had just dropped a track called “Known It All Along.”
I took a listen, paid respect to the gifted artist, and knew immediately what needed to be done.
I needed to prove that talent is not always genetic.
These are the top 10 things that I have known all along.
10
I would spend half my life growing a gut and the other half trying to get rid of it.
9
In one way or another, everyone is an assh*le.
8
Most opinions are about as dumb as mine.
7
I should’ve done private equity instead of whatever the hell this is.
6
Suburbia is torture disguised as success.
5
Nihilism beats the alternative, especially when the alternative is sacred.
4
Sometimes a higher meaning is found really low.
3
Truth and honesty equal mediocrity.
2
The political spectrum would work better as a circle than as a line.
1
Thank God for nephrology.
