Thank God I Have a Brother

I don’t actually believe in God, but I do have a brother.

And to whatever there is to thank for the XY, I am indebted.

Together, brother, we’ve saved countless hours by not engaging in minutiae.

That new table you bought—I honestly don’t care.

You sure as hell don’t care about my new carpet.

Granted, you did once express minor interest in what my kids were up to (I have two of those, by the way). I believe you might have had a few beers. Taken aback, I felt obligated to reciprocate.

That’s why I called on your son’s first birthday. You seemed irritated that I hadn’t just texted.

I learned my lesson. Birthday gifts had often been neglected, and it was nice to know that acknowledging the date itself was also optional.

Because as brothers, we know how the world works.

There will be good days and bad days.

Joyous moments and painful ones.

Hard work.

Earned vacations.

Shared perspectives.

Differences of opinion.

Must we state the obvious?

Instead, we simply cross paths when desired, eschewing the mundane in favor of muscle-cramping laughter.

Like the one time you visited on the spur of the moment.

You claimed you wanted to see the kids. I learned when you got here that the other option was to see extended family—on your wife’s side.

Geographic distance makes such occasions sporadic.

But I think we can both agree the same distance has its merits.

I can’t imagine you’re torn up about missing my daughter’s dance competitions.

And your daughter’s volleyball—let me know how that goes (briefly, please).

I still remember the wiffle ball games and the ping pong, the baseball cards and the college visits.

I’ve seen you grow from boy to man, from skinny to fat to surprisingly skinny-ish again.

I’ve seen you achieve the gargantuan.

And I’m amazingly proud of your success—I learn from it every single day.

I just don’t call to tell you that because, well, who wants to actually talk?

But if you ever need me, brother, I’ll be there.

Just see if someone else can help first.

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Note: This was in honor of my older brother’s 50th birthday. It’s been a true pleasure.