Belgium: More Than Meets the Eye

Countries have a brand. (Switzerland = wealthy. Bangladesh = poor. Canada = benign. The Democratic Republic of the Congo = scary.) And few countries have a better brand than Belgium, the little guy in northwest Europe nestled among the likes of France, Germany, and the Netherlands. That place has its $#!+ put together. Or does it? Let’s find out.

 

Why the Brand Is Deserved

Reputations, as they say, are earned.

Sitting quietly in this country of approximately 11.5 million is perhaps one of the most understated metropolises in the world, that being the capital city of Brussels. Also serving as the de facto capital of the European Union and the headquarters of NATO, Brussels clearly offers much more than providing its name to a cabbage-like vegetable. And the nation which it governs (sort of—see below) is a bit of a juggernaut, brimming with all sorts of towns and villages adorned with quirky canals and medieval architecture that would make even the most history-averse traveler marvel at the exemplary blend of old and new.

Despite being populationally challenged, Belgium still lands at an impressive number 26 on a list of countries by nominal GDP. This is, after all, home to Antwerp, site of Europe’s second busiest port and hub of the world’s diamond trade.

Not impressed?

From that tiny number of people also comes one of the world’s finest men’s soccer teams according to FIFA rankings, along with three—yes, three—official languages (Dutch—often called Flemish, French, and German).

Then there’s the culture.

Chocolate? Check.

Beer? Check.

French fries? Check. (They were supposedly invented here.)

Mussels? It’s on the North Sea for heaven’s sake.

Don’t forget about the waffles. Everyone loves waffles.

And famous people? Someone named Audrey Hepburn was born here in 1929, joined by Jean-Claude Van Damme in 1960. The most famous of all, though, are the Smurfs, one of many Belgian gifts to the animated world.

Of course, there are also the people who deserve more fame than they typically receive. The likes of Georges Lemaître, who theorized that the universe was expanding and by rewinding the clock on the phenomenon proposed the Big Bang theory, and Adolphe Sax, who in the 1840s invented and patented the saxophone.

The latter might not be surprising for a country known for its elite musical festivals, Stromae, and one of the greatest (pumped up) jams of all time.

 

So yes, Belgium is a marketer’s dream. As long as they leave out the rest…

 

Why the Place Is Kind of Messed Up

European history is not for the faint of heart. When in doubt, it’s safe to assume that everyone has despised each other at one point or another. And the seemingly sweet and innocent Belgium has a dark story to tell, starting with the formation of the country itself.

The nation we know today was established in the 1830s after the Belgian Revolution, a conflict that saw the predominantly Catholic southern provinces of the United Kingdom of the Netherlands secede from otherwise Protestant territory to create their own kingdom.

Fighting over religion? Really, Belgium? That’s so India-Pakistan.

Even worse, much like the South Asian rivals, Belgium continues to have border disputes—or at least border quirks—with its neighbors. Take for instance the village of Baarle, whose territory resembles a checkerboard of both Belgian and Dutch land.

And don’t fall for the whole linguistic bliss charade. We’re dealing with three largely autonomous regions—Dutch-speaking Flanders in the north, French-speaking Wallonia in the south (with a smidge of German buried in the east), and the Dutch- and French-speaking Brussels-Capital Region in the middle (technically fully surrounded by Flanders). Let’s not pretend that everyone gets along. Separatist movements—sprinkled with a bit of xenophobia—can be relatively mainstream.

Fighting over language, Belgium? That’s so Canada.

There’s more. Tension is not limited to mere linguistic (and cultural) differences. French-speaking Wallonia, an industrial powerhouse in the past, has stumbled upon hard times, not enjoying the relative prosperity seen in Brussels and Flanders (remember the booming Antwerp). In other words, Belgium is dealing with its own version of (gasp) the Rust Belt. That’s so Buffalo.

Things can get so dysfunctional at times that Belgium once went almost two years without a formal government at the national level.

Well, you might say, at least the friendly, open-minded Belgians didn’t get caught up in the atrocities of colonialism. Ahem. Have you ever heard of the Congo Free State, that place in Africa that was the private possession of Belgium’s King Leopold II, completely ravaged in the name of supporting the lucrative ivory and rubber trades? Heck, there’s a classic novel about this (Heart of Darkness, anyone?).

Bringing it back to modern times, Belgium is known for its massive taxes (among the highest in Europe) and impressive annual divorce rate (among the highest in the world when expressed per 1000 people). In fact, the populace is so busy paying the government and dealing with marital strife that it has yet to notice that one of the tourist attractions in its capital is a statue of a little boy urinating. Or that it still has a monarchy!

 

So what’s the point of all this? Basically nothing. Is a general knowledge website supposed to have a point?

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8 Responses

  1. Interesting article… should have ended it with cheers with a “Kwak”, which could have given more “Kick”.
    (one of the few remaining historic Belgian beers and is still served with respect for tradition in its original kwak glass)

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