You’ve worked hard. Now, politics and tariffs aside, it’s time to make your list of places of tourism.
First, you make sure they’re all well-marketed, as in the big names. There’s no need, you decide, to argue with the merit of visiting these locales. The masses, after all, are always correct.
Next, you make sure they all have things to see. The key here is to find places with enough photo-worthy attractions to avoid having to learn any stories. No one cares about stories.
Once you’re sure the spots on your list fulfill these two criteria, you turn your attention to the rest.
Everything—especially hotels, restaurants, and tour groups—should be moderately overpriced. Occasionally, when you’re in the mood for a deal, you should be able to easily find an Airbnb owned by someone who doesn’t live there and has helped price out locals.
More important than cost, however, is to make sure these places of tourism attract sufficient humanity. In other words, you need to ensure that when it comes to the aforementioned photo-worthy attractions, you have to wait several minutes before taking a picture. Also, remember that pictures turn out better with plenty of strangers not looking at the camera.
All these destinations should have markets specifically catered to tourists, full of items you don’t need—or want. That said, upon hearing words like local, hand-woven, and authentic, your ability to part ways with money should not be impeded.
Finally, one or more gimmicky activities must be readily available. While you would never dress up as a historical figure or ride an animal in your own country, you need to confirm you can partake in such activities abroad. Stated another way, there must be ample opportunity to reinforce outdated stereotypes.
It goes without saying that all itineraries must involve credit cards, pre-checks, and lounges that help stratify society and amplify the chasm between the haves and the have-nots.
When it’s all said and done, your list should be full of places you might not enjoy but that everyone insists you will. The mention of these locations should convey some degree of importance to your friends with bloated self-importance.
You realize there are many less marketed, less crowded, and more affordable places that might inspire you to learn their quirky stories.
But you only live once.
Do you really want those to be your places of tourism?
