The 10 Biggest Lies I’ve Told

The biggest lies I’ve told are a pretty big deal.

Sure, you may think that lying about an election, inciting a riot, and then becoming president (again) is legit.

But that ain’t sh*t compared to what I’ve done.

 

May 7, 1994

I told my mother I didn’t have anything to drink.

 

April 14, 1998

I told the interviewer I really wanted to be a doctor.

 

August 8, 2014

I told my wife she looked good in those jean shorts.

 

September 15, 2015

I told one of my kids—can’t remember which—their artwork was good.

 

February 4, 2016

I told that patient it was nice to see them.

 

December 29, 2019

I told my family it was great hanging out over the holidays.

 

January 11, 2021

I told my wife I would make money writing.

 

October 25, 2024

I told my wife I would make money writing.

 

November 24, 2024

I told the lady at Supercuts my daughter was still 12. (If you see this, Supercuts, I owe you $4.)

 

November 25, 2024

I told myself I look good.

 

Of these biggest lies, what’s my January 6th?