You could look at your birth certificate. Or you could look in the mirror. But if you’re still not sure, here are 10 hints that, yes, you are middle-aged.
10
You learn about perseverance from your nose hairs.
9
You put the crisis in midlife crisis.
8
Your kids are old enough to realize you have serious problems.
7
You actually relate to the sh*t your parents used to say.
6
You talk hair dye with your mother-in-law.
5
You start appreciating human relationships and all that crap.
4
Your pant size keeps pace with inflation.
3
You look like garbage—but you’re shockingly confident.
2
Suddenly, the combover doesn’t seem so bad.
1
Three words: taxes, insurance, divorce.
