What the American Hater Needs To Understand

Dear American hater,

 

I’m not here to change your mind.

I just need you to start telling the truth.

 

It’s hard, but let me lead by example:

I am the American you hate. I am overweight, and I speak with an annoying accent. Every time I say can’t, you cringe. When I travel, I talk loudly, and I can’t help but sample the “local” McDonald’s.

I know slightly or severely less about other countries than I should. While I don’t obsess about money, I do think about it regularly. I can’t give you numbers, but I’m sure my carbon footprint is not small. I’m challenged when it comes to spelling (well, I’m not, but apparently I am). I can get by in four languages, but don’t worry, there’s a lot more…

I eat processed food and actually like it. My main source of income is a disjointed and unfair healthcare system, one that reflects a racist past. My wife also works in healthcare, yet she didn’t receive paid maternity leave with our second child. I quote American movies and watch American television. Even worse, I like country music and have been to a shooting range. I’m blind to the unintended (or intended) consequences of my country’s cultural exports and foreign policy. In fact, when American soldiers are engaged in war, I hope for their safety and express support.

The bottom line—you’re free to hate me and everyone like me.

 

But before you go do your thing online again, you should be aware of the following:

1

The US is the largest contributor to the World Health Organization (WHO), providing almost double that of the second largest contributor, China.

2

The US government is the largest public sector donor for the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF).

3

The US spends more on defense than all other NATO members combined and, along with Germany, directly contributes the most to NATO’s budget.

4

In 2022, the US government provided over $70 billion in aid to nearly 180 countries.

5

The US spends more than any country on research and development and was the largest contributor to worldwide COVID-19 vaccine development.

6

In keeping with the above, your favorite tool to hate on Americans—the internet—was invented in the US.

7

Of the 20 best universities in the world, 13 are in the US.

8

The US has the largest immigrant population in the world, tripling Germany, its nearest competitor.

9

After English, the most spoken languages in the US are Spanish, Chinese, Tagalog, Vietnamese, and Arabic.

10

About 13% of the US House of Representatives is African American, exactly representative of the country as a whole.

 

Again, American hater, I don’t care about changing your mind.

I do, however, care about the truth.

 

Sincerely,

The fat guy

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6 Responses

  1. To express dislike( even severe) is freedom of speech. Watch two opposing political candidates go after each other( the other’s America is bad)
    At the end of the day, you hit the nail on it’s head(hope this is a correct “saying”.

    1. Yes, finding flaws in the name of improvement is key. But sometimes it’s okay to also appreciate what’s good.

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