Savannah: A Crappy Poem

Savannah, the one in Georgia

I always have to check if there’s an h

It was a pleasure to get to know ya

Because run of the mill, that you ain’t

 

I used to think you were on the ocean

But it turns out you’re on a river

I mean, it wasn’t the craziest notion

As your massive port is where sh*t gets delivered

 

Anyway, you were established in 1733

Which means that a little bit of math

Makes you older than the entire country

That age puts you off the beaten path

 

Well, at this point you’re no longer off

Tourists like me, they come in droves

You make believers of those who scoff

To be honest, I might have been one of those

 

I’ve had trouble embracing the South

What with that brutal war you chose

But at this point, I should shut my mouth

You seem more accepting than your Northern bros

 

There’s so much more than Sherman’s March

Like the Historic District and its ghost stories

Where live oak trees and Spanish moss arch

High above preserved cobblestone streets

 

Your 22 squares are quite the sight

Even if the names and monuments don’t match

The homes and their architecture—it seems just right

All told, by US standards, you’re a rather unique patch

 

The Girl Scouts founder once lived there

And Forrest Gump was filmed in those parts

Near one of those 22 squares

Was inspired the best travelogue ever—true art!

 

You’ve got all sorts of oddities and quirks

A few cemeteries and even a prison

In Forsyth Park a bunch of loonies lurk

There’s even a monument to the Confederate vision

 

Your heat can be a lot to handle

Not too conducive to intellectual endeavors

No wonder you’ve been home to the occasional scandal

Just see that travelogue or the movie, whichever

 

Regardless, with River Street and the occasional riverboat

You provide more than enough to see

With a life jacket and a couple of floats

One can reach South Carolina somewhat comfortably

 

You even have a Prohibition Museum

Among your population of only 147,000

That’s why the fiercest doubters like me come

I’ll be back Savannah, after I check out Townsend