AI, Can You Leave Me Something To Do?

AI, you can write this poem better than me

I know, I already read the one by ChatGPT

But I’m going to go ahead and do it anyway

As I’m looking for creative ways to waste another day

 

A few years ago they said that you could maybe drive a truck

But now they’re starting to say that with a little bit of luck

That you, AI, you can basically do anything

And to the awkward tech types, that has a nice ring

 

You can write music and all sorts of books

Which means the tortured-soul-artist types could be on the hook

I mean, who needs Stephen King or J.K. Rowling

When a couple of servers can do all the howling?

 

Between you and the robots you’re better than us

Even though the conservative types are making a big fuss

So what if humans are outdone by machines?

At least we can finally ditch those British princes and queens

 

I have this grand vision that one day you’ll feed me

While I sit on the couch and stare at my TV

If all goes well I’ll never have to move

I’ll just put on some headset if I ever want to “groove”

 

To be honest I have no idea how you actually work

And trying to understand technology can make me go berserk

I guess it’s almost a bit like that mysterious voodoo

But who cares as long as you learn how to wipe my doo-doo?

 

Speaking of cleaning, can you do the laundry?

Don’t worry—I’ve been told my clothes are kind of tawdry

Because if you can fold the stuff and put it away

That would free up some time in my jam-packed day

 

Isn’t that the point of you when it’s all said and done?

To make our lives easy so we don’t have to run

The way it stands now, I barely have time to blink

But with you around I wouldn’t even have to think

 

Creativity is overrated—what’s the big deal?

Large language models write lyrics with a broader appeal

A stupid poem like this could be done in a few seconds

And a whole screenplay in a few seconds more I would reckon

 

Humans are obsessed with themselves, in love with their atoms

They love to make believe that they’re alone in their stratum

But we all know that your powerful particles

Can pump out more than flimsy New York Times articles

 

I heard you can code, whatever that means

I wouldn’t really know—I still read magazines

Is it true you speak all sorts of languages

Not like those monolingual American savages?

 

You’re expected to become such an omnipotent force

That the people who’ve made you might even endorse

A little government intervention to save us from quacks

For once lawmakers could be useful—they might have our backs

 

One thing’s for sure—you’re not going away

Even if some humans would prefer you don’t stay

But rather than fight it, we might as well adapt

Without change we’d be on horses, now that’s just a fact

 

So I’m all in, I’m ready to be replaced

I’m even fine if I eventually get erased

Sure, you’ve been a blatant intellectual grubber

Whatever, what’s wrong if my brain can double as blubber?

 

But I was wondering, AI, if you can leave me something to do

You’ve done so much for me—I’d like to do one thing for you

I’ve been thinking long and hard about this solitary task

After all, I don’t want it to be too much of an ask

 

I’m a kidney doctor, yes, that is definitely true

Although with proper training that’s a better job for you

But along the same lines, I’d still love to know how to pee

Oh, all knowing AI, do you think you can leave that to me?