10 Hints You Should Skip the Super Bowl Party

There are times when sports fans just want to be sports fans. You know, fully immersed in something meaningless, all while eating greasy food and throwing back a ton of cold ones. And there’s nothing worse than having that transient bliss interrupted by stuff like healthy food, reasonable behavior, and normal conversation. Not sure what that means? Here are 10 hints that maybe you should just skip the Super Bowl party.

 

10

You think it’s a great opportunity to test out your latest quinoa recipe.

 

9

You claim you don’t like pigs in a blanket. (Either you’re lying or annoying.)

 

8

You feel the need to point out that soccer should be called football and football should be called something else. No one cares.

 

7

When you say the score, you say the lower score first, making it obvious that you’ve never watched a game in your life.

 

6

You claim you’re excited to watch the commercials but then talk during every single one.

 

5

Even worse, you talk about your kids’ extracurricular activities. Remember, no one cares.

 

4

You decide it’s a good time to critique American culture. Just eat the wings and relax.

 

3

You start asking about the rules of football in the fourth quarter.

 

2

You remind everyone about work tomorrow.

 

1

Nobody invited you.