10 Hints Your New Year’s Resolutions Are Bombing

It turns out that not all New Year’s resolutions are created equal. Here are 10 hints that maybe you should go back to the drawing board.

 

10

Rather than eat healthier, you vow to double up on your statin.

 

9

To see if you lost weight, you buy a scale that goes out to the hundredths place.

 

8

You stop procrastinating and finally cancel that gym membership.

 

7

To save money, you axe the veggies in favor of Spam.

 

6

Your new hobby is called mixology.

 

5

Your other new hobby is called Instagram.

 

4

You opt for wet January over dry January.

 

3

Instead of volunteering, you choose to donate—to your drive-thru fund.

 

2

You decide you hate foreign languages—everyone should just speak English.

 

1

Based on experience, you vote against your own resolutions.

 

Happy New Year!