The Tampa metropolitan area has it all. Warm weather. Beaches. A vibrant economy. Professional sports. Diversity. And the list goes on.
But I caught wind of the fact that the visitors bureau was struggling to come up with catchy slogans for the region. After a recent visit to Florida’s second largest urban stretch, here are my suggestions.
Tampa:
Our strip malls are better than yours.
Our arthritis feels better than yours.
And you thought we couldn’t make the roads any wider.
Where Akron, Ohio, went to find low-paying jobs.
We’d suck without the beach.
There are apparently museums here.
Our theme parks are just as painful as the ones in Orlando.
One of the least backward places on the Gulf Coast.
If the taxes were higher, you probably wouldn’t be here.
Where palm trees meet urgent cares.
Even Tom Brady retires here.
No hablamos español—we’re from the Midwest.
Name a famous band—they’re probably not from here.
Your favorite chain restaurant is right around the corner.
We have this really weird obsession with pirates.
You don’t have to pretend you care about the environment down here.
We’ve heard there’s got to be a hill somewhere around here.
Where true patriots live. (Brits in the Revolution and Rebels in the Civil War, but true patriots.)
We take the authentic out of authentic.
No one is actually from here.
I’ve yet to formally submit these suggestions, but I have a good feeling.
4 Responses
Very informative for a non-resident of Florida.
Thanks! Not sure the Chamber of Commerce would approve. 🙂
My sister is heading there as I speak, and I’m jealous!!!!! I’ll take Tampa any day!!!
Hahaha. So would most people (despite my snide commentary)!