Top 10 Hints You Watch Too Much Football

When you give up 22 Sundays (and a few Thursdays, Saturdays, and Mondays) a year to watch a sport, you might have a problem. By the time you’re in your mid-forties, the damage could amount to 7,200 hours—also known as 300 days (or almost a full year of your life)—devoted to watching that sport. I’m talking, of course, about football, and here are 10 hints that you might watch a bit too much of it.

 

10

You can name the offensive linemen.

 

9

You start to weigh about as much as the offensive linemen.

 

8

You whine a lot about the price of chicken wings.

 

7

You’re still pissed that your daughter’s dance recital interrupted your fantasy football game.

 

6

You buy new gear at the beginning of the season. (Reminder: You ain’t on the team.)

 

5

Your wife tells you that you watch too much football.

 

4

You’re drunk every Sunday.

 

3

All your friends are drunk every Sunday.

 

2

You can’t actually throw a football.

 

1

You’re reading this.

 

Now grab yourself a cheeseburger and get ready for kickoff!