Ottawa: To Love or Tolerate?

I’ll just go ahead and get it out of the way—Ottawa is no Washington, DC. By population, the metropolitan region anchored by the Canadian capital is less than one fourth the size of its American counterpart, leaving little room for meaningful comparison. With that said, Ottawa is clearly worthy of at least perfunctory analysis, much like what appears below, told from two different perspectives (and followed by some suggestions).

 

The Version As Told by a City Booster

Founded in 1826 as Bytown and incorporated in 1855 as Ottawa, Canada’s capital first earned that distinction in 1857 as the seat of government for the British colony of Canada, retaining the honor upon Dominion formation in 1867.

Located at the confluence of three rivers—the Ottawa, the Rideau, and the Gatineau—and bisected by the Rideau Canal, Ottawa has since experienced remarkable growth, currently serving as home to just over one million residents, good for fourth among all Canadian cities. The region extends from the province of Ontario into neighboring Quebec, adding another 400,000 residents and making the metropolitan area—also Canada’s fourth largest—the most bilingual in the country.

Known for Parliament Hill and its striking Gothic Revival architecture, the city is the country’s most educated, with over half the population having graduated from college and/or university.

Along with the international flavor of a capital city, the unique multilingual nature of the region, and the numerous universities comes a diversity that is typically reserved for the world’s largest municipalities. About one quarter of Ottawa’s residents were born outside of Canada, in part explaining why the city has been recognized as having the greatest concentration of shawarma establishments outside the Middle East. And the vibrant culinary scene doesn’t end there, extending to Little Italy, Chinatown, and numerous clusters of restaurants, perhaps the most prominent of which is ByWard Market.

Along with the rivers and canal come multiple parks, together providing a system of trails that can please even the most discerning outdoor enthusiast.

Throw in a flurry of festivals (including the Canadian Tulip Festival and the can’t-miss Winterlude), ice skating on the iconic canal, a collection of museums anchored by the National Gallery of Canada, and the Ottawa Senators of the NHL, and it’s easy to see why the National Capital Region has thrived.

The spirit of Ottawa is captured by some of its best-known exports, the likes of author Margaret Atwood, actor Dan Aykroyd, singer Alanis Morissette, and the e-commerce giant Shopify.

 

The Version As Told by a Young Adult

Let’s be real—Ottawa is a government town.

To put things in an American perspective, when is the last time you planned a vacation in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania; Des Moines, Iowa; Albany, New York; or Hartford, Connecticut?

Yeah, the government buildings are nice, but the homeless hanging out around them don’t make for the finest street art.

And sure, we’re sandwiched between Toronto and Montreal. But you know what that means? No concert worth going to ever ends up in Ottawa.

At least we got mountains and the ocean though—actually, no we don’t. A Great Lake? Not even that—Lake Ontario’s a couple hours away.

They’re always talking about things like quality of life, no traffic, and a manageable cost of living. You know what that’s code for, don’t you? It’s boring. Just ask SmarterTravel—they ranked it among the nine most boring cities in the world!

And be warned, it gets a little chilly. Ice skating on the canal is fun once, not for six months in a row.

Well, at least you can hang out at the nightclubs in the winter—oh wait, those are in Montreal too.

No wonder everyone wants to move to Toronto. The shawarma’s better there anyway.

 

Recommended Slogans

As I’m in the process of growing this content-based platform, I thought I’d take the opportunity to refine my marketing skills. Here are a few slogans that could help Canada’s capital city become more attractive to the next generation.

Ottawa: We have the government, some houses, and a few homeless.

Ottawa: Where vanilla is a passion.

Ottawa: A mere road trip away from Montreal.

Ottawa: Where government types hang out at museums.

Can’t decide between English and French? Try Ottawa.

Parks, malls, and restaurants. Ottawa has it all.

Ottawa: Someone famous once lived here.

Ottawa: Where educated people go to act all educated.

Passionate about tax policy? Welcome home.

Looking to make some compromises in middle age? We’re the capital of compromise.

Where else can you celebrate tulips, winter, and bureaucracy all in one place?

 

And finally, my personal favorite. Ottawa: Hey, at least we’re not Upstate New York.